Dating Abuse—It Stops Here

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My heart skipped a beat when I came upon the headline, “X-Boyfriends Stabs Girl To Death.” I knew it wouldn’t be included in my weekly leads to my editor at Guideposts Sweet 16 Magazine, but I couldn’t help clicking on the link.

As I read through the article, it appeared as though they were the perfect couple. She was a cheerleader; he was the pastor’s kid and star football player. They were inseparable. But over time, he became more possessive and demanding. He expected her to spend all her time with him only and was mad if she wanted to hang out with her friends. If she wasn’t with him, her cell phone rang constantly.

When she picked up, he’d say things like, where you at, when you going to be home, and who are you with? But other times, when she’d let her calls go to voice mail, she’d get more threatening messages, like if you don’t return my call by this time were through. His constant threats controlled her every move. When she refused to give up her friends and broke it off with him, she thought that would be the end of it. Much to her surprise, this same boy, that she had once loved and trusted, would end their relationship in a different way—such a cruel, heartless way—that no one could ever predict or imagine—by a violent act of murder.

She came to school the next day like she had every other day before. Only this time, her x-boyfriend met her in the hall with a knife. He stabbed her repeatedly until she flopped over in a pool of blood. Although other students, teachers, and even the principal rushed to her side, it was too late. She was gone in an instant.

The whole school was in total shock and chaos, the boys parents were speechless, and an entire community devastated. That was another disturbing violent encounter that should have never taken place, but tragically did.

It hurts me to know that dating violence is stealing the lives of young people all over the world, at a growing rate every day. And since I’m a victim of dating violence myself and love teens with all my heart, this article did more than drench my face with tears. This caused a righteous anger to form in my heart along with a hunger to speak out for all those, like this precious girl, who have been silenced.

As I was getting ready to go for a walk the other day, I sat down at my computer to see what else I needed to do later that day. All of a sudden, God gave me a vision. I saw myself at some young, beautiful girl’s funeral. “I’m proud to be here,” I heard myself say. “Because this girl did the right thing. She stood up for herself and got out of the relationship. If more girl’s and people did this, we could stop abuse and dating violence altogether and prevent thousands of deaths.”

In my vision I could see teenage girls and even guys rethinking their lives and relationships, like it was waking them up to what was really happening. When the vision was over, it kind of scared me. I was like, God I really don’t want to be speaking at any girl’s funeral.

A short time later, while on the walk, I shared the vision with my sister. She said, “Lisa, I believe God is showing you that you may have to do one or two funerals, but girlfriend, you’re going to be out speaking to save the lives of other teens and women!”

I thought, Praise God! Thank you Jesus!

I definitely don’t want to do funerals for the rest of my life; although if someone asks, and there’s a need, I definitely wouldn’t turn anyone down if at all possible. But I want to reach girls, women, and even men, to stop the abuse, the violence, and treat each other the way God intended for us to—with love and respect.

*I don’t know what your situation is or whether you’re involved in and abusive, controlling relationship. But if so, my advice to you is to get out of that relationship and get some protection before it’s too late. I would rather speak to a high school full of teens who are alive, than do one funeral ever. So, please, listen to my heart—only you can stop the abuse/violence in your life, no one can do it for you. I suffered for many years unknowingly until I finally got the revelation—don’t put yourself through all that! If you don’t, it might be your funeral or even one of your children. Please, there are safe places to go, safe people to talk to. Relationships don’t have to end in death.

It’s up to you. So why not make up your mind and say: dating violence and abuse--It stops here with me.

You’ll never know how many lives you’ll save, but hopefully if you get out soon enough, I won’t get a call to do your funeral.

If this article has touched your heart and opened your eyes to your relationship, I would love to hear from you. Just send me a quick email @ lisafreeman1@charter.net. That would so encourage me. Thank you and have a wonderful, safe, happy, and healthy life. –Lisa Freeman

Other Helpful Links & Sites
Dating Violence Fact Sheet

Teen Dating Abuse (great site for parents)

Are You In An Abusive Relationship? (a great site for teens)

Healing From Abuse (a great site for anyone who’s been abused)

*Although these links may be helpful when used in the right context they’re intended, some of the content on the overall website may not be totally Christian and may give advice that doesn’t line up with the Word of God, so please be advised that Lisa Freeman will not be held responsible.