Embracing the Rain interview with Constance Rhodes

Constance Rhodes
Embracing the Rain interview

Constance Rhodes is the founder and president of FINDINGbalance, a faith based health and wellness organization with an emphasis on eating and body image issues. She is the author of two books, Life Inside the Thin Cage, and The Art of Being. Her website,findingbalance.com, is the world’s first video-on-demand website for eating and body image issues. More than 500 free videos are accessible online to help disordered eaters and those who love them find the hope, resources, and healing they seek.

1. How do you feel that the idea of a positive body image is affecting teenagers today?

It is my opinion that most teenagers today don’t have any concept of what a ‘positive’ body image is. What is being screamed to them, by the media, their peers, and many times their own parents, is that their value and their appearance are inexorably linked. This, combined with a very narrow (and for most people, unattainable) image of beauty projected by our culture, makes it difficult to embrace the unique shape of one’s body, especially when it doesn’t line up to our culture’s standards.

2. What is your favorite bible scripture and how does it influence the work that you do?

One of my favorites is Galatians 5:1, which says “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and submit not again to a yoke of slavery.” I love this verse because it reminds us of two things: 1) we have access to freedom through Christ, and 2) that freedom can be stolen if we choose to allow the enemy to lead us into areas of bondage in our lives. We have a role to play in the abundant life God has for us; that is, we must choose to embrace that freedom, even though it’s often easier to forget it’s ours in the first place.

3. What aspect of society do you think affects young girls today?

Girls are affected by every aspect of society. But research indicates they are affected most by the messages they hear from their parents. We often like to blame society, culture, the media, etc. for the low self-esteem, confusion, and depression that affects teens. But teens are just as influenced in these areas by what they see projected at home. If parents have a healthy marriage relationship, strong self-esteem, and are living lives of freedom, then their children will be just as affected by that model as by any they may see out in general society.

4. Where do you hope to be in 10 years?

Hmm… interesting question. I don’t really have a ‘ten year plan’, but there are some dreams and visions I hope come to pass in that time. For example, God has given me a vision to open up counseling and resource centers for disordered eaters in every state and even internationally. I would hope that we would be well on our way with this by ten years from now.

Personally speaking, I hope that I’m a lot more mature, wise, loving, and giving. These are the areas that God is working on in me – areas he is growing me in as I draw closer to him.

5. If you were to give some advice to young girls today what would it be?

Don’t believe the lie that you will automatically grow out of feeling insecure, or that no one over eighteen can relate to your struggle. The reality is that we all wrestle with feelings of insecurity, no matter how old we are. It is how we choose to respond to those natural, human feelings that will make the difference between living rich, fulfilling, exciting lives and just coasting numbly through life.

6. How do you feel young girls today are affected by the media?

We are all affected by the media according to our understanding of it. If young girls believe that the media presents a true representation of how they must live their lives in order to find happiness, then they will always feel disappointed. If, however, they can see the media for what it is – a money making machine based more in fantasy than reality – then they can escape the compulsions, addictions and fear-based living required to pursue such fantasy.

7. What is the greatest obstacle young girls are impacted by?

This may surprise you, but to me, the greatest obstacle young girls are impacted by is the lack of healthy, balanced love and attention they get at home, especially from their dads. I’ve seen amazing girls who are talented and smart and beautiful become insecure, fearful women because their cry for love from their parents was never met in the way that God intended. The good news is that while our parents may never fulfill our deep needs for love, God can, and does. But we’ve got to remember to turn to him with our needs, rather than turning to other things. If we can do that – seek him first – allow him to love us fully – then any girl can do anything!

8. What influence do you feel stress has on our young people today?

Young people face just as much stress, if not more, than adults. This can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as unhealthy eating, drugs and medications, drinking, smoking, even sex to try and relieve the stress. Stress also affects us in less obvious ways, such as insomnia, anxiety, and a constant state of fear or worry. It’s hard to be a young person in such a busy, stress-filled culture, but it’s never too early to learn to set boundaries, to allow yourself adequate time for rest and recreation, and to say no to things that add more stress than benefit to your life.

9. How do you feel the music industry influences young people today?

The music industry – even the Christian music industry, which I worked in for six years – is both a reflector of culture, and an influencer of culture. Again, we’re back to the importance of choosing to look at media and the culture with a critical eye. What you see in music videos is based on fantasy – on a picture of what our culture believes is important. God’s values are often going to be different. If you’re a music fan and love music videos, that’s great. But watch them with a critical eye. Ask yourself, “What are they trying to sell me?” and “Does it reflect God’s views or our world’s views?” Scripture makes clear that the way of the flesh (our human nature/culture) is death, but the way of the spirit is life and peace. Which do you want to choose?

10. What advice do you give to young people experiencing depression today?

Know that you are not alone, and that there are many contributing factors to depression, including bad eating habits, stress, genetic predispositions, addictive lifestyles, and a lack of healthy love at home. If you are experiencing depression, first, please tell someone who can help, such as a doctor, counselor, youth leader, or some other adult. Second, take the time to look into the issues that underlie the depression. This may mean going to a counselor for a while. There’s no shame in that. Remember, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. He wants you to live a life of hope and freedom, and he knows better than anyone how to lead you to that life. Press in to him, ask him to guide you to the help you need. I know that he will do that for you, because he’s done it in my own areas of struggle. He is for you!

For more information on Constance's book Final Thin Cage

Final Thin Cage